


You're Going To Make Some Cats Very Happy One Day

by futuretrapqueen



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M, this is basically dialogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-21
Updated: 2015-11-21
Packaged: 2018-05-02 15:06:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5252729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/futuretrapqueen/pseuds/futuretrapqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cristiano ponders domestic life with Leo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're Going To Make Some Cats Very Happy One Day

**Author's Note:**

> Just some fluff on this chilly Friday evening <3

"Leo?"

"Hmm?"

"What if I got pregnant?"

"... I'm sorry?"

"What if I got pregnant?"

"Uh, Cris. Baby, you're a man. You can't get pregnant."

"I fucking know that Leo, I'm just saying ... What if I _could_ get pregnant? Would you have a kid with me?"

"Honestly, babe? The idea of you pregnant is ... terrifying."

"What? Why?"

"Why? Come on, Cris. I don't want to fight tonight."

"Who's says we're going to fight? Just answer the question. Why is the idea of me being pregnant terrifying?"

"It just is ..."

"Leo I swear to God."

"Because you're moody enough as it is, alright?! Just drop it."

"..."

"..."

" ... I ... am not moody."

"Cris, please."

"No, asshole! I am not moody! How fucking _dare_ you! I'd be amazing pregnant! I'd glow and all that wonderful shit! What the hell do you know?!"

"Cris for fucks sake. YOU CAN'T GET PREGNANT."

"But if I could, you little shit, if I could you're basically telling me that you'd want nothing to do with it?!"

"What the fuck, Cris."

"You wouldn't be my baby daddy? Huh? Is that what you're saying?!"

"All I said, is that you're moody enough as it is and that being pregnant would probably just add to that and I'd like to point out that you're PROVING MY FUCKING POINT, YOU FUCKING LUNATIC."

"I'm the lunatic?! You just told me that if it was possible for me to get pregnant that you wouldn't jump on the opportunity to have a kid with me!"

"Jesus Christ. Yes, okay?! Yes Cris. YES. I would have a kid with you. Is that better? Are you happy now?"

"No! You think I'm going to let your asshole sperm anywhere near me now? Fuck you!" 

"Oh my God ..."

"You're lucky I can't get knocked up, 'cause you'd be shit out of luck."

"Whatever you say, Cris."

"THAT'S RIGHT! IT IS WHATEVER I FUCKING SAY!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"If you did get me pregnant though, I sure as hell wouldn't let you pick the baby's name. You better know that shit right now."

"Cris, stop."

"And our baby would LOVE me. Love me SO much. And it would fucking HATE you, Leo. It would LOATHE you from the second that it popped out of me."

"What's it popping out of? Your ass?"

"MAYBE IT IS, BITCH! EITHER WAY YOU'LL NEVER FUCKING KNOW, YOU DEAD BEAT DAD. SHUT THE HELL UP."

"... Cris?"

"What Leo?!"

"Remember when you said that we should get a dog?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't think we should get a dog."

" ... yeah."


End file.
